To Online Date, or Not to Online Date ... That is the Question

Let me begin this post by admitting that I'm 42 and single.  For years, my friends have tried to talk me into finding a man online.  Until recently, I have refused. 

Last month, on a whim, I used this photo and put myself on a dating site.  I figured if anyone contacted me, I'd end up with a man with an excellent sense of humor, or I'd end up with nobody at all. 

I also added a couple of 'normal' photos so people would see that I was just being silly.   (See below)

It worked.  Within less than a week, I had over 500 men view my profile.  I was getting comments, winks, and flirts on a very regular basis.  Considering the fact that I wasn't seriously looking for a man, it was kind of fun to read their profiles and giggle. 
 

After exchanging instant chats with two or three of them, one gentleman stood out to me.  We exchanged email addresses, and the correspondence began.  He was from Denver, and was an electrical engineer.  He was raised in Europe, and went to college in Australia.  He had an adult daughter who talked him into trying the dating site.  He was taller than me, nice looking, a bit older, and appeared to be very successful. 

The first thing I noticed in his email was that his spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure were appalling.  I wondered what kind of education he could possibly have gotten to become an engineer, yet not write one completely correct sentence in a lengthy email.  Red flag #1.

Within a week, he told me that he was convinced that I was the girl for him.  He was in love.  He said he believes in love at first sight, and fell for me when he saw my 'beautiful' profile photo.  I, however,  do NOT believe in love at first sight.  I believe there is lust at first sight.  Affection or interest can be pretty quickly attained.  Love, on the other hand, takes time to develop.  Love is desiring someone else's greater good over your own.  In one week of emails, there is no way on earth that this guy cared more about my good than his own, and I knew it.  Red flag #2.

From that point on, his emails became more and more amorous.  He would describe in detail the life he'd like to have with me some day.  He would tell me that I'm his best friend. He quoted scripture frequently, and brought God into the conversation on a regular basis.  He told me he not only owns a house in London, but also has one in Paris.  His emails were wildly romantic, and in some aspects, he seemed too good to be true.  Red flag #3.  (Things that SEEM too good to be true, usually ARE!) 

After about two weeks, he said he had to go to Spain to work on rebuilding the largest oil refinery in Europe.  He called me one time, and it was from a Spanish phone number, I reverse looked it up.  We spoke for about five minutes, and that was the whole phone call.  His accent was so strong I could hardly understand him.  I could hear some British and some Australian in it, but the base accent sounded VERY African to me.  In my next email, I asked him if he had spent time in Africa, because that was the accent I picked up.  He ignored the question and went on and on about what a wonderful life we would have together someday.  Red flag #4.

I'll skip to the end.  Almost a month into this email exchange, he told me that he was bidding on another engineering job that would pay 5 million Euros.  If he got it, we'd be set for life.  If he didn't get it, he would never ever be happy again for the rest of his life.  What?  Seriously?  Losing one contract would cause him to be unhappy for the rest of his life?  Lame!  Red flag #5.

A couple of days later, he emailed me a semi-official looking document showing that he had been awarded the contract, but he had to come up with $10,000 US Dollars to pay all the fees, and he only had three days to come up with the money.  Come on!  How many companies HIRE a contractor, and make the contractor come up with $10,000 in fees to be awarded the contract?  None. "You beg and borrow to get $10,000 and I'll turn around the next day and write you a check for five million." ???  Right! 

The next day, he emailed me and said that he was only able to raise $5,500 of it, and he needed me to loan him the other $4,500.  If I did, it would 'secure my own future'.  As soon as he was finished with this contract, he'd fly back to the states and we could go house shopping. 

Okay, let me say it again, SERIOUSLY????  I'm a single mom.  I have two teenage boys and work a very full-time job to make ends meet.  I live from paycheck to paycheck as I'm trying to pay down my own debts.  And this 'yahoo', in all earnestness, asks ME for $4,500.  I had told him that I shop thrift stores and yard sales.  My vehicle is 15 years old.  Unless he never read what I wrote him, which is a definite possibility, he knew that I'm not some rich American woman.  I, of course, wrote him back immediately saying that I was sorry, but I did not have ANY money I could loan him, let alone $4,500. 

I didn't hear another word from him for several days.  I sent him a quick email saying something like, "So that's it?  This was all a scam to get money out of me?  I'll be praying for you, whoever you are."

Three days later I got an email from him calling me evil (repeatedly) and saying that I was a wicked awful woman who was not really a Christian.  He misquoted scripture saying that we are required to give to everyone who asks us.  It was a shocking email.  I've never ever been called any of the horrible things he called me in that email.  I did not respond, and have not heard from him again ... Praise God!

Thus ends my illustrious career of online dating.  Forever.  I have NO desire to go through anything like that ever again.  I know some people have had great success, but I'm certainly not one of them. 

I wanted to get this post up to warn any other ladies out there to watch out for turkeys like this one.  I could publish his name, but I'm certain it's not his real name.  He probably has many false names, and has multiple scams running at a time, with multiple 'rich American women', who are wicked and evil and won't give him money.  Ugh. 

So long online dating.  I'm leaving you forever.  I'll go back to the old-fashioned way of meeting a man in person, liking him, getting to know him, and falling in love .... naturally.  Face to face.  :-D

Blessings to you all today,
~Gwen

There is always a silver lining ... even in a cloud of smoke!

Greetings,


Bad things happen to good people.  We all know that.  We've each experienced it on a personal level at some point in our lives.  This past month, the good people of Colorado have lived through it.  Unfortunately, we have had a record fire season, with as many as 12 named fires blazing at once.  The High Park fire near Fort Collins overtook the Hayman fire as the most destructive in our state's history, destroying 259 homes and claiming one life.  We all grieved with our fellow Coloradoans as it was happening. 


Last Tuesday evening, in the midst of sizeable fires down in the Four Corners area, up by Florissant, and near Leadville, the Waldo Canyon Fire outside of Colorado Springs took a major turn for the worst.  A fast moving storm and high winds accomplished the unthinkable and pushed the fire down into a populated part of town.  People were being evacuated with no advance notice.  Houses were literally bursting into flames.  "It looked like a volcano had erupted, with the lava flowing down over the hills" observed terrified bystanders.  Jumping two firelines, it got a foothold in Colorado Springs itself.

In five hours, a record 26,000 people were safely evacuated.  At the same time, 347 houses were being obliterated by the flames.  Even though the acreage of this tragedy was not nearly as significant as High Park or Hayman, sadly, it claimed the record for being the most destructive in Colorado History.  In addition to the houses, it leveled the Flying W Ranch, a well-loved historic landmark, and threatened the United States Air Force Academy.  The grieving in Colorado Springs was overwhelming.

My 14 year old son and I had travelled to Florissant for a meeting on Tuesday evening, at the same time as the wind was carrying the Waldo Canyon fire into Colorado Springs.  We had been having quite a conversation on the way home, unaware of the mayhem and tragedy on the other side of the pass, less than 30 miles from us.  We were discussing what 'stuff' was really important, and what was not.  It was an excellent conversation.  One of those teachable moments that all parents hope for.


He came to the conclusion, on his own, that if our house were to have burned down while we were at our meeting, that would be okay.  He would have lost his computer, his knife and sword collection, everything in his room, and all the 'things' that make our house a home.  He also realized that the list of items he would collect, if we were to get an evacuation notice, was amazingly short.  So long as Mom (me), his brother, and he himself were okay, the rest of it was all just 'stuff'.  It was a very mature moment for him, and a proud one for his momma. 


Little did we know that hundreds of thousands of people were compiling similar mental lists at the exact same time.  The residents of the greater Colorado Springs area had no idea how far into town the fire would rage.  People had been evacuated as far east as I-25.  Many others voluntarily left due to the smoke and the threat of further growth.  Each of those people had gathered up whatever they could fit into their vehicles, or whatever time would allow, and had walked away from everything else that had been so dear to them only hours before.

I expect a lot of people took stock of their lives and realized that 'stuff' is replaceable.  It's just 'stuff'.  The things that really matter have breath in their lungs, and love in their hearts.  I'm certain that some of them, when they were finally allowed to survey the damage done to their homes, regretted lost weekends, evenings, and holidays spent at work earning more money to buy a bigger home.  Now, all that extra work was nothing more than a pile of ashes, and their children had grown up without them.

I cannot imagine the grief and sense of loss those people are currently experiencing, but I do think that some time in the past week, each of them thanked the Lord that they were able to make it out alive, with the one thing that cannot be replaced; their lives.  Only two people were lost in the fire, and sadly, their families are dealing with a much deeper level of pain.  I pray for them fervently.


Somewhere in Colorado, a husband kisses his wife goodnight for the first time in years, realizing that she means more to him than any material possession he could possibly obtain.  A mother turns off her favorite television show and actually talks with her son, grateful that he is safe and in her presence.  A teenager ignores his iPod in favor of a conversation with an evacuee who has been staying with his family waiting to be allowed back into their home.  An elderly woman, whose heart has been softened, clutches a photo album to her chest, weeping over the photos of her loved ones who are thousands of miles away.  She picks up the phone and takes the first step to repairing bridges in their relationship.


There is a silver lining in this cloud of smoke.  It manifests in the form of an awakening.  An awakening to our priorities.  An understanding of what actually matters and what doesn't.  I'm not the only one who took a long hard look at the 'stuff' in my life and realized it's just 'stuff'.  It's not worth missing out on important moments to obtain. 

The truly important things in my life sleep down the hallway and snore loudly.  They don't care if we have an extra $100 in the checkbook as much as they care if their Mom is around when they need her most.  I, for one, intend to keep my priorities in check.  I've been awakened.  Have you?


Blessings,
~Gwen

My First Published Novel

Greetings,

This past week has been an amazing ride.  I got my first book published.  It's already for sale on Amazon and B&N.  Can you believe that? 

Several years back, I was listening to a Chuck Missler Bible Study, and felt like I was supposed to write a book about the battle of Jericho and the events leading up to it.  My response was, "Yah.  Right.  Like I know ANYTHING about writing a book."  The feeling didn't go away.  As a matter of fact, it intensified.  I grabbed a notebook and a pen and began writing down ideas and notes.  They were coming to me literally faster than I could get them on paper.  Characters.  Plot.  Sub-plot.  Descriptions.  It was pretty amazing.

I spent about three months researching everything I could find about the location, time period, customs,  pagan beliefs, and all the information that was sprinkled throughout scripture.  It was a tedious process, and I was determined to make this book as accurate as was physically possible. 

I began writing the book in the evenings, after my boys had gone to bed.  I know me.  I'm one of those people who jumps in with both feet, and I knew the project would consume if I let it.  I had to promise myself right off the bat that I would only work on writing it when it didn't interfere with my time with the boys.  So, for the next several months, I got very little sleep. 

Once I felt like it was 'shareable', there were several family members and friends from church who agreed to read it, and they all gave me glowing reports.  I was encouraged by their responses.  Writing a book was not one of my lifelong dreams or goals.  I just felt like I should do it, so I did. 

I posted it on a website where publishers go looking for new material, and was offered two publishing contracts.  Neither of them were what I was looking for, so I turned them down.  Since then, I have occasionally offered it to friends and aquaintances to review at their leisure, but aside from that, it's been just waiting on the proverbial back shelf.  As a matter of fact, I've written another novel already, and have recently started a third. 

It's funny how God sometimes makes us wait WAY longer than we would expect.  After three years of inactivity, everything came together in one weekend, and the book was literally published and for sale on the two largest book-selling websites in FOUR days.  Did you catch that?  Three years of waiting, and when God was ready for something to happen, it all came together in four days.  That's amazing to me!

I am grateful for the encouragement and advice offered by various friends, family, and facebook aquaintances.  This has been such a fun experience!

If you'd like to get a copy.  It's being offered for a limited time for only $2.99 on Amazon as well as on B&N.  The paper copies will come out later.  They take a lot more formatting and production time.

http://www.amazon.com/Jericho-A-Historical-Novel-ebook/dp/B007I6DU88/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331175026&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jericho-gwen-chermack/1109366965?ean=2940013913523&itm=18&usri=jericho

I look forward to hearing your feedback about the book.  My sincere prayer is that you are blessed by what you read, and discover a different facet of this familiar Biblical narrative.  Please be sure to rate the book on Amazon or B&N after you have read it.  Apparently that's the way it will move up in the standings and gain a larger audience.

http://www.facebook.com/JerichoAHistoricalNovel

The link above will take you to the FaceBook page for the novel.  It will serve as a forum for feedback and discussion.  Please join me there!

Blessings to you all today!
~Gwen

...And he's thanking ME???

Greetings,

Every so often, we have one of those immensely humbling moments in life.  Saturday evening was one such moment for me. 

For the past five years, Colorado Friends of NRA has sponsored a group of veterans and wounded warriors on a Colorado elk hunt.  We have blessed approximately 50 men, who have served their country, with the opportunity to spend a week, all expenses paid, at a hunting lodge, stalking the elusive wapiti. 

This year, a local hotel donated a banquet room so we could have a community meet and greet.  About 70 people showed up to shake the hands of the veterans and thank them for their service.  It was a very touching scene. 

I had the honor of presenting one of them with a rifle on behalf of the Colorado Friends of NRA program and volunteers.  We got him a beautiful Weatherby NRA Edition rifle with a Leupold scope, a case, and a box of shells.  We had all the hunting veterans come up front and introduce themselves.  They each told a bit about their military service, and the crowd applauded them wholeheartedly. 

Jason was the one they had chosen amongst themselves to receive the rifle.  He served four tours in Afghanistan and three in Iraq.  He has been shot eleven times.  He had to leave the room more than once because he got overwhelmed with it all.  We all, as a group, presented him with the rifle, and more than one of those manly men teared up. 

He took the rifle, shook my hand, and said 'Thank You' to me.  He then hugged me and told me "Thank You' again.  Really?  He was thanking me?  He served seven tours in a battle zone and took eleven bullets ... potentially for me ... and he's thanking me for something as insignificant as a rifle?  Really?

I truly wish words could express the feeling it gave me.  We gave him a rifle, and all of them an elk hunt.  Even still, it was minuscule in the scheme of things.  Each of those men was willing to give his life, and everything short of that, to protect his country.  Serving his country.  Loving his country. 

It felt good to be giving something back ... I just wish it could have been more. 

This brings with it a heartfelt 'THANK YOU' to all our service men and women from myself, from Colorado Friends of NRA, and from this whole great country that you all protect with your lives.  It is not going unnoticed or unappreciated! 

Blessings,
~Gwen